I feel like the past few years of my life have been stagnant. Year after year, things are primarily the same. Some people wouldn't see that as a bad thing, and I guess it really isn't in the grand scheme of things...because year after year, I still have a job. I still have my health. I still have a place to live and something to drive. I realize that by some standards, I have it "good". I'm very thankful for everything I have. Everything.

I don't want to seem like I'm complaining because I'm actually not this time. My struggle is that I have certain goals. I want certain things in life just like we all do. I had a plan for how my life was gonna go. Okay...maybe not a plan for all of it, but definitely a wish. Things haven't quite gone how I thought they would. I think I had this idealistic vision for my life (that some people, miraculously or maybe luckily, actually attain) - that I would find the perfect career for myself, make tons of money, fall in love with the perfect man for me, get married, have some babies, and live happily ever after riding off into the sunset**. Life doesn't happen like that for everyone. I get that. But I can't stop myself from wanting it. Does that make sense? I just don't know how to make all of it happen yet. Do I even keep chasing the dream or should I just be patient and see how things turn out? The Bi.ble says there's a season for everything...maybe this is supposed to be my "be tested, wait, and have faith" season? I don't know. I just know that I REALLY want some good things to start happening in my life to move it forward....to that next level...to that next chapter. I want my dream.

3 things I'm thankful for today:

1. The 2.5 weeks I have until school starts again.
2. Pris.on Break (I know I'm late, but I loooooove the show)
3. New season of Jer.sey Shore starts tonight!

**After rereading this sentence, I realized that I'm only 25 and that maybe that vision is still very much alive.